Wednesday 31 August 2011

Liam Gallagher Sues Noel Gallagher Over "The Chip Incident"


It has emerged that ex-Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher is suing his brother and former bandmate Noel, over an incident involving Noel stealing the remaining chip on Liam's plate in a terrace house in Burnage, Manchester during the summer of 1978.

Earlier this week, in a press statement, it was confirmed that Liam Gallagher had filed the legal writ against his brother.

Chips: The catalyst which caused so many feuds.
“It’s about time Oasis fans know the truth. I turned my head for two fookin’ seconds and our kid grabs the chip of my plate and shovels it in his gob. I mean, fookin’ hell, I was only 6, and you don’t do that to a 6 year old, ya know what I mean?”

Proceedings took an interesting turn today however, as low-budget gossip magazine, The Sun, published photos of a 10 year-old Noel Gallagher bragging to fellow school mates in the playground about his triumph. Noel Gallagher has refused to comment, but his management has insisted, “It’s all just malicious lies.”

Liam Gallagher continued, “He’s a fookin’ thief, and that is the end of it. All I want is an apology, and a considerably large amount of his income”.

This is not the first time that the ex-Oasis songwriter has been accused of thieving. Noel Gallagher was sued for £500,000 in authorship dispute over Oasis song “Shakermaker”. He was then subsequently ordered to pay royalties for Oasis single “Whatever” as he couldn’t be bothered to think of his own melody for either songs.  

Media analyst Thomas D commented, “Borrowing ideas from various musical influences is no crime, this is how music progresses, but to steal a chip of your brother's plate is preposterous! What an evil man. Would John Lennon be happy about this? I don’t know. Probably.”

The New Musical Express, who once coined Noel Gallagher “The Wisest Man In Rock” have retracted the statement, changing it instead to “Perpetually Hilarious Tea Leaf”.

No comments:

Post a Comment